Ytd lava told me jokingly that i've changed alr --- that I don't go up to her when she waves at me and I just continue playing games with my classmates.

Even though she was just kidding around, it really made me reflect. Is it still og > class to me, or has it already become og = class?

I rmb Christine saying this after class camp: I'm starting to like my class more and I'm trying to slowly let go of my og, because if I dont, I will keep comparing my og with my class, and I'll never fit in with the class like everyone else does.

Well, I think she does make sense in a way, but after we've been through so much as an og, I really cannot and dont want to let go of it ): but yes, I do see her point, so I'm trying hard to balance og and class in my life. It's really hard though.

There was one day I was just talking to Priyanka during camp and she asked me which I would choose -- og or class? And I told her, sometimes og > class and sometimes class > og.

That does sound like a perfect answer doesnt it? But it's really really super hard to prioritise which comes first in different situations. Take last Wednesday's lunch for example, my class wanted to have class lunch and my og wanted og lunch.

When I told my classmates that I'll be having lunch with my og, they said "whole day og og og, fine lah pangseh our class!" and so I kind of offended them. Trying to make up for that, I tried to hang around the class table for a while before going to buy food and sit with my og.

BUT. My og saw me hanging around the class table and thought I was gonna pangseh them for my class and gave me weird stares when they walked past.

Like, seriously, it's really hard yknow. I cant split myself into two, and I would very much like to join both groups of people. So really, pls forgive me if I cant join either group for whatever reason.

I will never give up my og. I can promise that. But sometimes I really can't meet up with yall too much 'cause of my mum (D:) and also cause I need to make time for others also. So pls dont blame me if I dont stay back after school or if I dont join yall once or twice for lunch okay.

pls pls ):